The Art of Saying No
by Damon Zahariades
Do you find it hard to stand your ground? Is it difficult for you to say no when faced with a request? Even when you gather the courage to say no, do you end up feeling bad about it?
aIf you answered yes to the questions above, then you just might be a people pleaser, which is the reason you don’t feel completely happy.
Being a people pleaser is no fun because you will make yourself an easy target for abusers and leeches. If you don’t know how to say no, you will find it hard to secure genuine friendships because most of the people who come close to you will be doing it simply because they want to keep using you for their selfish interest, so this book by Damon Zahariades is actually a necessity, everyone should be able to master the art of saying no.
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Be direct and clear when you want to turn down a request
No matter how hard it is for you to say no, don’t stall when you do it. Being indirect will not make you feel any better about refusing someone’s request, so just go straight to the point.
You don’t need to give a long explanation, just say no and get it over with. Be assertive, but do it in the nicest and most respectful way. If the person responds in anger, it is not your fault, don’t let it get to you because such a person is feeling entitled, which is not good. A reasonable person will be grateful for your sincerity.
Being direct will also ensure that the person asking you for a favor doesn’t keep bothering you. If you keep this up, you will feel better each time you say no and it will help your confidence.
Stop saying yes for the sake of people’s approval
One way to stop being a people pleaser is by finding out why you do it in the first place, and it is usually for the sake of approval. It is good to be nice, but if you are nice for the wrong reason, it will no longer be a good thing, at least not for you.
From childhood, people have called us “good boy” or “good girl” because we did something that pleased them. If you are still linking your self-worth to other people’s pat on the back, you need to let go of that thinking. You don’t need to please people before feeling like a good person.
Always remember that it is about who you are, not what people approve of. As long as you genuinely act in a good way, you are a good person.
Learning the art of saying no will boost your productivity
There is a strong connection between your productivity level and your ability to say no. This connection is possible because when you stop being a yes man, you will have more time to focus on important things that actually affect your life, not just other people’s lives.
Imagine saying yes to ten different requests when you have your own tasks. You will end up sharing yourself, thereby using the energy meant for one task to do so much more. This will suck all your energy away and leave you giving the remnants of your energy to the job you are actually supposed to do, your productivity will decline and those you have sacrificed yourself for will not care.
No one respects whoever says yes all the time
This is just one of the many ways to see that an inability to say no will affect you in a bad way. You may think that the people you always say yes to will respect you, but they most certainly will not.
Respect is earned by being yourself, standing your ground, and being confident. If people see you as someone that can bend to do their bidding at all times, you will be treated with little or no respect, and you will be the last to notice just how badly they see you because they won’t make it obvious.
The Art of Saying No
by Damon Zahariades
